#003 From Agoraphobia And Cancer To Inner Peace With EFT With Gilli Moorhawk transcript

#003 From Agoraphobia And Cancer To Inner Peace With EFT With Gilli Moorhawk Transcript

Please note the following transcript will contain errors as it is automated and is not always accurate but you will get the gist!

hi I’m Suzana Kalcic and you’re listening to life in practice podcast I’m curious about the big questions in life and how we can experience more meaning and fulfillment every day join me as my guests share their challenges successes and what it means to put our purpose our bodies and our lives in practice hello and welcome to your life and practice podcast This Is Your hostesses ana and today my guest is Gilli Moorhawk she’s a writer EFT therapist and a health researcher welcome Julie thank you Susannah so it’s Gillian I %HESITATION connected over a shared passion and %HESITATION entrance for personal development psychology spirituality and all these wonderfully fascinating subjects that’s right and sexuality your own sexuality yeah yeah lows don’t miss out on a most important ones exactly so %HESITATION since the getting to know you %HESITATION there’s like we can’t talk for so long there’s been like so many things to talk about so with this particular conversation %HESITATION I’d like to focus more on just have a general %HESITATION overview off the main challenges that you’ve had in your life and how you’ve been able to overcome them so she starts at the beginning then yeah so I was born seven weeks early and I spent my early weeks in an incubator and I have to say that my relationship with my mother is never being great and it’s only recently that I discovered that one of the reasons for that is having been in an incubator and not having that early bonding that’s natural and normal for a mother and a child and then just come together %HESITATION and in my case my mother then went off to her father’s funeral when I was about four weeks old and stayed away for a week soon she not only left me when I was born but again when I was only four weeks old so I learned this pattern of people leaving me and I’m you know my mother used to say I don’t know why you don’t like me search she could tell and I didn’t know why I didn’t like her either %HESITATION and that this book that I read recently said that if your mother isn’t there for you when you’re a baby it’s very difficult for you to trust her or if she leaves you even if it’s a separation because she has to go into hospital or somebody dies or you have to go into hospital that separation in the first two years of life can have impacted just rolls on for the whole of the child’s life and affects the relationship between them forever and nobody really knows why until this research is being done and now they’re starting to see that it’s really important %HESITATION and that that the that this connection leads to trauma and trauma as we’ve talked about it leads to health care health issues psychological issues so many things not going right in life and you know the whole thing with personal development is because you can see that things aren’t going right and wanting to get to that sense of rightness but other people seem to have yeah that’s so true and I really I thought it was important what you said about the fitting of lack of trust for %HESITATION your primary care giver and then what kind of impact that has on on yourself also the relationships that you then later on to develop with other people hi Amy is I I said to you that one of the gifts I got from my parents was of the love they showed for each other the error they were absolutely devoted to each other even when my father was in his later years and he had Alzheimer’s when my mother walked into the room his face would light up you know they just did everything together and we were really happy together %HESITATION sometimes to the exclusion of everybody else %HESITATION but that was a really good role modeling for me and %HESITATION I feel very fortunate you know I didn’t really appreciated the time probably but I feel very fortunate not to have had that modeling of a proper love relationship because I think it’s it’s more difficult for people if they haven’t gone not I’m sometimes to connect in relationships though %HESITATION my my ex husband and I discussed this at length because his his family was quite difficult his family about bringing %HESITATION but his mother and his sisters loved him so we did get a lot of love from people and he he said the sole kindness in his sister’s relationship with her husband but there wasn’t really anybody who had done a great passion you know it’s mainly arranged marriages %HESITATION but he’s grown up to be a very loving person %HESITATION I know was walls so I think I think there’s a lot of love in eight and I think that there are things that can derail it for sure parental Brinks is one of the things that derails it and not having good models is another issue but I think underneath it all I think there is such a longing for love a longing for acceptance that maybe there’s this innate love ability that we have in us yeah I think so I guess we are tribal and %HESITATION social %HESITATION %HESITATION creatures so we are %HESITATION wired for connection and we’re wired to form %HESITATION relationships because we come as humans we can’t survive on our own you know what they say maybe now we can with all this the modern technology but before %HESITATION we have to be a part of a group of part of a tribe and I think the loss of the loss of tribe the loss of community is a huge issue %HESITATION not only in this country around the world as I read something recently Islamism about thirty percent of Americans live alone don’t have much that’s a huge number they say they feel lonely thanks you know if thirty percent of the population weren’t eating enough or or didn’t have a roof over their heads that would be an outcry not having people the people don’t really seem to think that it’s important and I think it’s hugely important to connect with somebody %HESITATION and some people particularly the elderly can be very isolated in their later years and that’s really not something that would have happened even up to like fifty a hundred years ago absolutely but then as I was healing as relationships company they can also inflict a lot of trauma on us as well so talk to me a bit more about the the the the impact of the trauma that you had when you were a baby and how that had an impact %HESITATION on your relationship with your mom and then later on as you began to develop as a young girl as a teenager as an adult I’m I I didn’t read any of spent a lot of time with my family %HESITATION I had friends at school and because I lived in quite a small town you know from a very early age I would just try to often and see one of my friends so I never felt like there was anything missing until much later in life %HESITATION anything missing in my family because my normal was I’d go and play with Pamela all right complete with Linn Oregon C. Allison are you know I always had somebody to go and spend time with us and you know when you’re a kid you want to play games and stuff that everybody else’s class competitions for your child this is what I want to do with my time so it was only in my thirties I think the only suddenly came to the realization that I hadn’t had a happy childhood mmhm because it because all the bits where there you know we had a nice handsome and wasn’t beaten my parents didn’t drink so there was no alcohol abuse my parents loved each other so there were no fights and arguments so to the outside world it would have seemed like a you know the goods childhood to her room hi I’m up but there wasn’t any affection there wasn’t any hugs or kisses are warm ups or anything like that and %HESITATION so it was it was not what I realized it had been missing and in my younger years and that’s what made me start to look at some of the other issues in my life %HESITATION one thing for me was I couldn’t wait to leave %HESITATION I went to university in Canada never came back and people people who kind of went back and stayed at home and just come what some though I you know I did see my parents have gone visit them once a month they lived outside London and I would speak to them on the phone %HESITATION so that was very much of a sense of beauty instilled in us as children I have an older sister Huddersfield the term you know over the years I’ve had therapist who said you know why Amy are you still seeing your parents when you know when they do these kind of things are saying these kind of things it was mainly kind of mailing lost despite Fulham’s supportive comments that time I remember feeling most wounded by and %HESITATION yes so I I went for all my nourishment to my friends social group and they sent you you pick your friends but you don’t pick your family and sometimes you know you feel like you’ve been dropped into the room next and it may not be the the best place that you know my parents were the kind of pre war generation and you know those little survival issues and people dying in %HESITATION a lot of grief apparently my father’s brother died in the war and they never really go over it and if you’re stocking not grieving saying it’s very difficult to give attention and affection to the people around you and it’s really true %HESITATION it reminds me of a book which I haven’t actually read but I’ve heard quite a bit %HESITATION quite a bit about Tate as cold running on empty and I think it it’s basically about %HESITATION like childhood %HESITATION emotional at no may collect %HESITATION and it very much speaks to what you’re talking about words like on the surface like your childhood was fine it was already anything bad but deep down if you feel like something’s not quite right mmhm yeah that’s absolutely untrue %HESITATION but I went and I find that elsewhere you know so because I couldn’t get it with my family I got it from my friends unlevel was hand a social group has been very supportive and you know friends I’ve had for decades %HESITATION who who are there for me if I need to amend for her mom could also always be there as well so I think I’m maybe it’s the nature of the beast if you don’t get it in one place you’ll always look for another place or you’ll find in your love relationships %HESITATION but as you said this is innate need to belong and it’s it’s a survival name because in the jungle to to better than one tends way better than one because of the tiger comes along the grab one of you and then nine live under for you know go on for another day %HESITATION and that this is the same thing in the therapeutic model is that being with another who witnesses your emotions and your grief for your difficulties is healing because we’re just not meant to be alone yeah I completely agree with that and %HESITATION to your point though about %HESITATION I mean starting as a child when you %HESITATION sought out to have your needs met by your friends like always see your friends who are like also children don’t have the capacity to give you the kind of %HESITATION like to no to nourish you in the way a parent can yes I don’t know I don’t know because that that was my balloting yeah was you know I’d rather spend time with them you know you know I think what I’m trying to mean is that even though like your friends with their feet they cannot replace what your parents should give you should have because their their children as well so it’s kind of children parenting each other yeah and I think what we touched upon like in previous conversations I think when you realized what had experience and it’s the proces of like re parenting yourself mmhm yeah in a child works really really powerful %HESITATION I think I think it is everybody looks and signed Tom they’ll find you know everybody a lot of people will find the inside them is a child of a certain age and if it’s if it’s a baby then that’s the time at which your first kind of split or your first lack and you know some people will be a child six some people it might be a little bit older %HESITATION but for lots of people it’s a you know a teenage teenager toddler age child what kind of age two and three %HESITATION because those as the first two years there kind of critical but even up to five years ideally the mother should be with their child I want you to have a relationship with their child and these days that’s not happening and I’m really worried about hello that’s going to impact society going forward %HESITATION because child care with a different nurse or different nursery nurse looking after your child every day or a different one every week or if it changes it’s not the same as having I’m a female adult ideally the mother looking after the child all the time and it’s not a popular thing to say because women now want to have opportunities and choices in the career failed in the work field I want to be independent but really the name to the child %HESITATION normais in the end up here and %HESITATION Sir is it such a big sacrifice to just take five years out of your working off that financially people can’t afford to do it %HESITATION I think when the the research is done over the next generation to generations perhaps governments will be wise enough to support parents to have five years off so their child gets the best developmental support because the long term issues that run on from that in terms of health care mental health care social structures abuse alcohol abuse drug abuse and all these kind of things the cost of that’s phenomenal so if you let parents look after their children and you have healthier children it’s going to really impact society in the long term absolutely yeah that’s so true well yeah we live in a in a in a tough world and %HESITATION yeah as you say there’s so many different pressures and people want to have choices and options and yeah it’s just about I guess seeing what what you as an as an individual choose to prioritize as well and then obviously hoping what the the government can do or the company that you work for what possibilities are there but I am as you say well we’ll see who in a few years time well as I said I think you can see it now with the the kind of look at me look at me look at me kind of attitude that is very prevalent Twiss no Instagram and Facebook and people posting pictures of themselves and me doing this me doing that me doing this it’s because they want to be looked given attention and often it’s because the mother wasn’t there to give them attention it’s the online to offline contact between mother and child is being found to be so crucial because it’s validation I know this is what it seems everybody wants they want to be validated and they want people to look at them and they want to be famous for being famous %HESITATION and and you know a if you go into a career Rome was children an awesome career questions what you want to be I want to be famous because they want people to look at them because there was nobody there to give them not only to a contact that’s excellent also part development %HESITATION yeah not so cheap I think it’s also it’s not just %HESITATION like with the parents but I think %HESITATION and %HESITATION influences life from TV from what we see that we’re told that code this is like if you’re if you %HESITATION have this kind of look or if you %HESITATION if you are %HESITATION Thame is for the sake of being famous like these people are financially rewarded mmhm so we’re kind of almost taught like okay this is this is the way that you should pay because these people are given attention they are paid %HESITATION loads of %HESITATION funny as well and your initial %HESITATION this is say like if someone is famous doesn’t go there %HESITATION celebrated so they must they must be a valuable person like I used to think like that when I was very young because %HESITATION someone’s on TV or their %HESITATION that means that they are an important person as you grow up you realize well actually no that’s a really important people are actually behind the scenes doing the real work and %HESITATION it is very difficult but you know there’s been a race a recent spate of suicides from people who were famous for their five minutes home on that some of these reality shows and once the cameras start rolling in the attention stops being there it’s absolutely devastating for them so it’s it’s it’s not an easy ride is not it’s not money for nothing people think it is money for nothing but when the chips are down than they realize actually this is a huge impact and it’s not something to be cordoned in the way that it’s being done in the last ten years hopefully there’s been a lot of publicity about him this week and hopefully people will start to pay attention to the fact that this is people using people for entertainment so somebody described it as being like gladiators in the old days when the Romans would stick people in the amphitheater and have them kill each other now they do on TV and yeah absolutely I think what come what it comes down to is %HESITATION for the for the individual and the importance of %HESITATION cultivating developing your own self esteem I think that’s key well this is something I should teachers school raining you know the things that they teach you at school that you never use afterwards and the things that they could teach you at school that could change your life in a self esteem you know how to how to praise people how to receive praise all the kind of things that you need to come for your health and mental well being much more important than algebra and %HESITATION you know white white hills or a certain shape you know units in these are things that you don’t really need to know %HESITATION but this is how the education system is is set up at the moment in there there’s lots of pressures looking at different ways to educate children because it’s become very one dimensional so this whole academia and the education of the mind and not looking at the body and you know that I’m I’m very big on body awareness so Sir Ken Robinson is my hero he’s a professor emeritus of education network university who left to do %HESITATION a career as a consultant %HESITATION he’s written is some research for the British government and he recommends bringing back the arts so this is music drama ports and art painting and drawing and sculpture and things like that and he says we progressively educate our children from the waist up and into the head and this is my question that I ask everybody where are you in your body and a good seventy percent of people say I’m in my head of course as if that’s the only place you can be like your lines and your mind from course there in your head and then you find some people in you find that they’re not in there had a toll you know they’re in the heart trust or in their belly are there in their hands and then you start thinking well maybe cans on to something maybe by educating ourselves into our heads we’re missing out on everything that’s going on below the neck and because we have no connection particularly with our body we don’t think to look calm after it in ways that would be probably much more healthy and much more beneficial than are very superficial way of you know people go I took off my body I go to the gym twice a week three times a week and you know it is because you want to look like that guy you want to have the before I bought a and %HESITATION beer into McDonald’s and sweeties and chocolate and you know when did you last have a carrot I’m I’m kind of the love and care for your body is missing %HESITATION and I think our education kind of persuades us that the brains the only important thing and if you haven’t got a good brain then your you’re missing out or you’re not as good as the people who are smarter than you are even though you may have far better skills unit you were showing me those beautiful pictures and it’s just like that’s fantastic that kind of work I’m not so it is a real gift is a real skill I’m saying that because he come do algebra that he’s not as good as everybody else I’d love to be able to draw lines fantastic yeah I mean exactly each person has their own skills on their own %HESITATION talents like were no old get everything with %HESITATION but when I get into now that you’ve you’ve talked about the importance of being in your what D. and having %HESITATION more more awareness of your body %HESITATION because you’re telling me before that you had quite a traumatic experience when you were like it was in your twenties he then developed %HESITATION hydrophobia and that was on the C. like heightened %HESITATION heightened anxiety and also I’ll let you speak into the app so this is something that’s come up recently in more recent research about trauma is hello %HESITATION trauma can either be inherited from your your previous generations or early trauma can predispose you to react even more acutely to sum it up I was attacked in a taxi like so many women in London before they were licensed you know anybody could take the car and say Hey I’m a taxi can I take you somewhere and %HESITATION I have known no memory will happen the only reason I know was the following morning my husband said what happened to you last night you know you came home you were sobbing and he said that somebody had to talk to you in a little white one of my consciousness and I carried on I think everything’s fine and then about six weeks later which apparently is is kind of a common time frame for these things to kick in I started having panic attacks if I was into an enclosed space so it became impossible to do the job I was doing at the time because you know I had to be in meetings I had to have people come into my office and I just couldn’t do it anymore %HESITATION and it was heartbreaking because I love my job %HESITATION I worked in the music business and %HESITATION I have fabulous stories from then on but I just I love my job I love the people I work with all of the bands I work with and you know to lose that it was devastating %HESITATION along with losing my personal freedom in being able to feel safe outside the house and things and %HESITATION I spent twelve years trying to find a cure and I never came up and I tried every Allah G. under the sun in a psychology parapsychology everything the drugs that they gave me didn’t work psychology didn’t work it’d past life therapy noted homeopathy added acupuncture you know everything that I could do I did and %HESITATION somehow I never lost hope I’m not quite sure who it’s amazing yeah after it’s like such a long time a lot of people would have thought okay not saying I’m going to be like this from I’m not gonna let this reluctant I’m I’m not picked up a book cold %HESITATION but a psychologist American psychologist called Roger Callahan %HESITATION he wrote one book called the five minutes are for the five minute phobia cure and %HESITATION this this is it if everything I’ve found is that this is going to do it this is going to fix it right %HESITATION and I found a doctor here in the U. K. who’d only just trained in the therapy and really wasn’t very tion of the experience so I’m enough shift happened to make me think it was worth pursuing an so this is this guy Roger Callahan was charging thousands thousands of dollars for a session and I didn’t have thousands of dollars %HESITATION but his kind of number two I think she was this should a PhD she was a doctor %HESITATION based in San Francisco and she was about half the price what do I have to lose just I fear and I had two one hour sessions with this woman and after the second session yeah I got my %HESITATION what exactly what happened and that’s what was it like a hypnosis %HESITATION it saw it this is thought field therapy which is %HESITATION topping on acupuncture meridians so the therapy I do not own the CFT which is a variation is a is a is is a kind of a simpler variation and %HESITATION so can you talk us through that kind of roughly at what happens okay so you think of whatever it is that’s bothering you so if you have issues around money you think about having lots of money and if that makes you feel good then that’s great but if it makes you feel a little anxious or a little tighten your chest this lot is there some kind of block there around having money that everybody says I want to have money but the truth is lottery winners will have lost all our money most of them will have lost all their money within five years I will be back to the level of financial security they had to write the beginning I’m so nobody’s gonna really come up with the reason for this it’s been noticed home but I think there’s a do you have a financial set point and if you start looking at having money above thought financials at point which comes from your your heritage your family you know if there are people in your family you had money and lost it bad things happen when you learn maybe having money is not such a safe thing to do so I’ll just keep it to a lower amount of money so in the N. F. T. we get you to focus on the feeling not well thought the feeling that you have in your body so this tightness this tension this slight sick feeling may be if you think about having lots of money and the responsibility that comes with lots of money and then there are acupuncture points here and here and here I need just topple knows ten times working through the sequence well you think about that problem so the beginning you’ll give it a value maybe seven or eight out of ten or tens the worst I’m off to do a couple rounds of the tapping you look at it you go actually it’s fine ma’am it’s not as bad as it was so then you go back into that feeling again pulled up feeling into yourself really connect with it really connect with how you feel in your body and then do the topping again and then maybe I’ll go down to a three or maybe I’ll get stuck and it won’t go anywhere else and then you look for other beliefs around having money what money means you know if your if your father had lots of money but then drying clot and became abusive you can actually you know one is really not a safe thing to have so I would like money I would like lots of money part of me really doesn’t want to have the money and you get this inner conflict I am an ultimately you’ve got you’ve got three brains about the brain in your head you’ve got your heart brain which is deals with your emotions and you’ve got your body brain which deals with your sensations on the body brain is all about survival so if something is dangerous it overrules what everybody else wants and going no no no no no no having that relationship with that person was very unpleasant I was very unhappy so we don’t want to have those kind of relationships that person had lots of money hello how about person they turned out to be so I come possibly have money like that even though he even up here you really want to you want to have all those zeros in your bank account with the one in the front but your body brain which is about survival because is going to help his route maybe not so we’ll just skip not by you can work as hard as you like you know I told you the story we both like the stories that me as a man running around trying to do everything really busy really busy really busy doing this doing this in this business because this is what we want to do we want to go to Tokyo I’m what you don’t realize is the hand to sitting on an elephant that’s going to Los Angeles so it doesn’t matter how hard the end works how much stuff it does how busy it is what it thinks and does in plans makes no difference because the elephant which is your sub conscious mind is going somewhere else so the only way to fix that is to reconnect with your sub conscious mind and start working with it to persuade it to take you where you want to go so that’s dealing with all the blocks only underlying subconscious blocks that you have the you may have forgotten it may be some incident happened when you’re ten years old and somebody said something to you how many think about it there’s so many things that happen in your life you forget most of them and the ones that you remember have some kind of charge attached to them and that’s why I remember it because it hasn’t been processed and put into long term storage so it’s still kind of acting still having an effect on you and if you’re not careful not elephant is not going to go where you want it to go and this is why things may not be working out for you in your life in the way that you would like that’s really really powerful and it just goes to show like you know %HESITATION yeah we’ve got a lot of crazy %HESITATION %HESITATION and it’s trying to move things and yeah I come from a really frustrating when you’re right behind and I’ve been doing so much work or going in this direction and yet you know here we are like you know in a certain part of your life you can feel ready stock and I can definitely relate to what you’re saying about the politics that was with me like I’ve got a starter and that’s it’s really %HESITATION interesting you know for me to observe because even at times when I feel really safe with someone really comfortable but it’s like sometimes if we start talking about a subject that’s more that’s more emotionally charged I can feel myself I start to block more like there’s something in my body that’s kind of telling me that okay no like it’s not safe to express yourself mmhm like even though I know it’s perfectly safe for me to express myself but there’s something that’s causing this like this %HESITATION %HESITATION hesitancy in this %HESITATION this bus blocking so it’s really really into psych so from that perspective I can really relate to it so people don’t really have a very good connection with their bony so one of the other exercises I’m doing the workshops I do as I say who do you love most pick up the three people are the three things that you love most and in all the times I’ve done it and people go my parents my partner my children my dog my cat some people even say their car do you think about it all these men out on a Sunday morning with a bucket of water in the polishing away and the cleaning and making it look gorgeous and men love their cars someone really love their cars but on a practical basis if your car is not working you’re not gonna get to the station you can’t get to work you can impress a girl lived on the road and you can’t take her out on a date you can’t escape when your mother in law comes to visit you know having a car is a really powerful resource and your body is all those things I know there were two people who put their body on their list that was really really unusual and a %HESITATION one of them was it was a guy who’s a quadriplegic being in a car accident in his teenage years and have been paralyzed from cut upper chest down I’m for him understanding what his body could do even with this damage was a source of gratitude for him you don’t want to be disabled or crippled are damaged or sick before you start to value your body because it’s the only one you’ve got doesn’t matter how much money you’ve got you can’t go and buy a new one doesn’t much matter how much like you love going shopping this is the only body and when you’re in your twenties in your thirties Scott yeah yeah yeah %HESITATION you know I’ll worry about that later and then later incomes and you’ve got diabetes or you’ve got rheumatoid arthritis or so many of these chronic illnesses many of which didn’t exist fifty years ago a hundred years ago I read something recently which I thought was fascinating this doctor said when she was a medical student in the seventies they were taken to see this patient and the the teacher said this is something you probably will never see in your case history but we wanted to show you because it’s a really interesting topic any idea what the hell I’m a kid it was it like as a child or someone really young he heads thank %HESITATION diabetes or something like that because I know that they’re saying like %HESITATION that’s children these days are are more likely to have a shorter lifespan than their parents which is like the first time like in history that’s what they’re that’s what they’re expecting something along those lines it will it is %HESITATION it’s Alzheimer’s %HESITATION Michael Alzheimer’s is cold type three diabetes rela because there seems to be a link between %HESITATION diabetes sugar management insulin resistance and Alzheimer’s in the seventies Alzheimer’s was considered a really rare condition and now the you know it is like fifty percent forty percent fifty percent of older people and even people who aren’t so old people in their sixties and seventies and %HESITATION you know these are all lifestyle illnesses time BT’s coronary heart disease cancer Alzheimer’s these are like the big plagues for you know the people of your generation my generation but they do those illnesses were extremely rare the first recorded harsh tech was in the early nineteen hundreds where is not you know you just think how much tax you know happens all the time in the early nineteen hundreds they identified the first time that somebody had a heart attack so it’s diet in some bar mental is the toxicity in the environment that we have to deal with on a on a daily basis our water isn’t clean like it used to be when it came out of the mountains and I think in London they say that water is being recycled thirteen times by the time you drink it yes your money not so appealing on our food you know some of our foods you know looks like the toys that you buy in the toy shop you know it so well manufactured it doesn’t look like anything that you should eat %HESITATION although I think it’s important to sort of say there I think there’s a genetic component as well like specialist something like cancer because they’re like I’ve known some people who they’ve lived a very healthy lifestyle but they went on to %HESITATION develop cancer yeah so it’s not always as clear cut I think I think it was something I concert stills we died I don’t think there’s I don’t think people know as much I’m about to it of state we know more more but it’s I think it’s not as clear cut and is easy to understand the thing is it’s just it’s more common than you know even in the seventeen hundreds and sixteen hundreds people still hadn’t tumors people whilst were you know it was mentioned in the medical records of the time %HESITATION but it not not wanting to no one in three you know in %HESITATION you know twenty or thirty years ago cancel also nearly as common as it is now diabetes wasn’t as common I’m not saying these diseases didn’t exist I’m saying we have to look why they’re so common and what is it that we’re doing that’s making them become triggered in people who are young you know people used to be the the cancer was for old people and now you have a women in their twenties and thirties of breast cancer you know why why is it spreading across all generations now and the people who look into the functional medicine doctors talk about the diet and the environment and the the one thing that isn’t really talked about engine being this amount of stress I saw medical program when I was seven right I just love watching science programs I was my favorite and %HESITATION some restrictions some research has shown that seventy to ninety percent of all visits to the doctor what caused by stress in our when did you also go to the doctor with a physical complaint and have him ask you about the stress you are under it’s not a question that’s ever angst yeah yeah they would definitely need a more holistic approach to health care and and consider all all the all of the different components that have an impact on our health isn’t just as simple as having to like %HESITATION to suit a certain %HESITATION symptom because that’s usually what quite a lot of health care is is is okay take these tablets you know gonna you’ll feel this anymore but it’s like well actually you’re probably your body is trying to communicate okay there’s a problem here that’s why I’m showing the signs that something’s wrong but you need to you need to treat the core not just put a plaster over this over the surface yeah that’s absolutely right it’s like you’ve got a flashing red light on your hand cutting warning warning and among people of a plasterer over the flashing lights doesn’t bother you anymore but this is still going on and yes so you have to experience some of your own health challenges as well and not most of being quiet %HESITATION well I’ll let you and that you speak into the turn out when I was %HESITATION ten years ago I the sound of a puck on the skin on my lips on my breast I went to the doctor and they said well we’ll get it checked don’t expect anything and I went in to see the doctors and they sent I’m sorry to tell you have cancer I’m a but I had to I had the nurse said to me don’t seem very surprised I’m in Yellowknife you knew what my life you will be surprised because it’s just one thing after another yeah because I did see that you recently %HESITATION go over your %HESITATION acrophobia right no I’ve had they had a phobia then I went through five years of infertility and IVF and then I had a two year break and then I got cancer while it was it was one thing after another I’m so I had to decide what was going to I spoke to a friend of mine who had cancer and she’s going the natural route and she said to me she said take everything they offer you take every treatment there for you she said I’m going to die she said if I had my time over and have radiotherapy chemotherapy any therapy going so is that because the %HESITATION the %HESITATION notch over it didn’t work for her his son yeah %HESITATION for me it was never it was the first choice it’s been ten years home following a very healthy lifestyle trying trying to be healthy earned I knew that this was a flashing light my body going something’s wrong something’s wrong something’s wrong and poisoning my body with radiation and chemotherapy just didn’t seem to to do it for me you know my body was clearly already really stressed I’m not working properly so the only way for me to be sure that it wouldn’t come back was to find out what happened in the first place so I had surgery I had the tumor removed and I had a fabulous Dr most wonderful soulful caring physician not be sold forever so grateful to him because he listened to well I sent I need heard what I needed and he gave it to me even though it was out with the national health and it was out with the normal protocol he put himself I don’t to support me and what I believed you don’t get that very often coming up as an amazing doctor hello so after the surgery the I spent hours every day looking up all the stuff online cancer treatment I caught it took well over one you know I was doing twelve hours a day and everything contradicted each other into this need is let me take this pony tied up on the G. listen that is very hard to know which route to take I’m sorry I saw an acupuncturist at the time who I’ve known for many years at that point and he’s a specialist in serious illnesses and he said hit it with everything you can’t just go this is gonna be the treatment is going to do it for me you have to look at everything and you take as many treatments you hit it from as many angles as you can send us the curiously I had two other friends who are diagnosed with cancer in the same six month period since then I don’t know anybody who had cancer before then I don’t know anybody had cancer but in that window there was three of us and they also want the natural rate do they have the the same cancers are breast cancer no they had different kinds of cancer and they follow different routes one of them is an alternative therapist she was she was very informed the other one I had a route that she was following and she followed it and sadly both of them died %HESITATION so I cannot advocate doing what I did yeah because it doesn’t it doesn’t work for for for if they did they did different things to me I’m but for me the just’s just wasn’t any other twice and I’m still here ten years on %HESITATION what route did you take so what did you do them hi I changed my diet drastically became vegan okay and then I read about the whole sugar impact on cancer because cancer is fed up cancer tumors grow in the presence of glucose and %HESITATION mental lady online who wrote a book called the Kenton catatonic diet and she we talked about %HESITATION thanks can be used as a fuel source and you can cut your carbohydrate done very little do you know those three food groups carbohydrate protein and fat you can live without carbohydrate you can’t live without protein or fat you know you cannot stop lots multiprotein BBM benefit you’ll die and if you if you eat lots of fun without protein your your muscles con %HESITATION unit rebuilt the carbs you don’t need you do better with carbs but it’s not essential among you have cancer if you cut your intake of carbs done two twenty five grams a day which is very very small amount I don’t from it’s much more difficult for the chamber to grow so I followed the different kinds of diets I had acupuncture Chinese herbal medicine I took hills by the bucket load I mean I think I can I can tell handful of pills and just donate money because when you say poses at night we’ll supplements herbal pills enzymes pancreatic enzymes those taking loads of them %HESITATION insiders he said you went to you today %HESITATION keto diet was R. A. M. vegan keto yep okay hi %HESITATION so it wasn’t so much it was big she calls it a catch on a diet but actually keystone is that seventy percent fat on her diet was just very low carb well it would be more accurate to say it was a very low carb diet %HESITATION so I actually %HESITATION I did start introducing me some organic meat because it’s very it’s very difficult to maintain can a good house if you’re if you cut out all your food sources you know I’m so then when did you re introduce mate inter drive how long how long was apparent that your vision for police just over a year okay %HESITATION why did you re introduced me it just felt like well I wasn’t getting enough yeah interesting %HESITATION you know I’m I had a bit of a scare %HESITATION when I thought that something and come back and I have scans they said they were tiny tiny tiny little specks of something but I was calm I wasn’t having a lot of soul to the time and that controls her breast lumps if you’re on a low salt diet once I started having more so again you know healthy quality so Emily insulting I’m and it’s it’s it’s very stressful enhancer because horrifying yeah and stresses one of the big problems and along with that changing your diet what else did you do I did coffee animals three times a day whoa for several months and why are they good I’m coffee %HESITATION if you take it rectally it goes straight through the hepatic portal vein into the liver and it stimulates the liver to clean so that’s that’s the purpose behind it inking coffee doesn’t seem to be the same thing %HESITATION so yeah yeah one becomes remarkably relaxed about after a while %HESITATION yeah is there any like %HESITATION did you have any %HESITATION psychological or spiritual practices I did yeah I did E. F. T. okay if he was coming the big thing was working through hello the blocks and the the shoes that had been %HESITATION %HESITATION %HESITATION one the Germans are quite hedonistic quite head in functional medicine and one of the theories was that if you have a long periods of stress which I had was you had referred them ten years and then the stress is removed and your in a peaceful place your adrenals have been running over stimulated and running running running and then when the stress goes to kind of collapse and your adrenals are involved in your immune system and the thing with stress that people don’t really realize is that when you’re in fight or flight is supposed to be a temporary thing it’s only supposed to be well you run from here to that tree to get away from that tiger because if you don’t get to the tree you don’t I’m so if you’re survived you’ve developed this way of coping you know this is short intense bursts of adrenaline can get you out of trouble and save your life and then you set up the tree for twenty four hours and you know and relax but modern life isn’t like that modern life is stressful the whole time yeah it’s kind of like a chronic low grades kind of stress and absolutely and when you’re in the state your reproductive assesses get to none because if you don’t make it to the tree you’re not gonna reproduced at your digestion yes two nine which is why I often you see the guys elder being pursued by the lions having approval they’re running away from the lions because the body empties everything out and the other thing is your immune system gets turned down because you don’t need it for these ten minutes that you’re running for your life and then normally you calm down and everything comes back online you see if you see a gazelle and on on the the the steps he’s being chased by a lion and it got away it doesn’t sit and go around all the other guys all singles look what happened to me it was terrible it was terrible it doesn’t wake up the following morning going oh my god where is that line was online and you know they they don’t live in this stressed aren’t some way that we do in modern life and even if you don’t have any obvious rest in your life you know maybe your relationships find and your jobs find you quite relaxed going on the underground electromagnetic fields that were all exposed to all the time the problems with the food the problems with the water S. decides and herbicides that are in the air these are stressors as well and your body has to deal with them all so a friend of mine said last week I was talking to about chronic fatigue he’s a chronic fatigue chronic pain which means that it’s easy to get rid of what you mean he said leave London you know go live somewhere in the wild in the nature and the pharmacies at and I had chronic fatigue before I went to Peru and sure enough after after three months in the Amazon jungle stopped having chronic fatigue syndrome %HESITATION you know modern life is stressful yeah it is it definitely is I do think there are some good things about them %HESITATION what in life as well I think the technology and the advancements in health care you know especially health care when it comes to %HESITATION like if someone breaks their arm or like they’re in some kind of %HESITATION accident like the way that %HESITATION like the way that doctors can save those people was absolutely amazing and there wouldn’t have been able to before so I think it’s I think like with most things right it’s easy to romanticize about the past as well but I don’t agree with you that there are certain %HESITATION certain aspects about the kind of world that we are in now is not healthy and I think for me like I’m really care about having %HESITATION having organic food is so important %HESITATION so that’s something I think we really need to kind of go back to %HESITATION but yeah I think with things are lifestyle it’s in a way it’s also we have so many tools at our disposal and it’s up to us to also take responsibility and choose how we use these tools and not become a slave to them about makes sense yeah it’s taking responsibility for your well being which takes a little bit more works than we’re used to yeah that’s true M. and and people of kind of got into a habit of just going to the doctor and getting a pill and that’ll fix it and you know not putting the four tops of the %HESITATION ankle can heal just taking the pain killers so that they can carry on with their life %HESITATION so people need to start taking a bit more responsibility for well being and the pace of life makes that more difficult yep so there there’s certainly a lot more %HESITATION pressures and %HESITATION so many expectations that we put on ourselves as well %HESITATION yeah but you know I think with things like %HESITATION becoming more present a practicing %HESITATION mindfulness you can become more aware of what’s going on is like what you talked about before like connecting to how does it feel to be in your whole body and paying attention to what your body is trying to communicate to you so you don’t have to wait until it’s like screaming out you was something yeah because it sucks that’s the you know if you don’t pay attention I knew somebody wants to cut his hand open washing the dishes %HESITATION and it was just like oh no I’m I’m back to work tomorrow in a sense like this and he kept bumping his car and he was he was going through a difficult time the time in his relationship and it had several minor little bumps you know bumper bumps in his car I didn’t pay any attention to it so you don’t have the slightest little stop yeah right you do if you if you ignore the small signals the signals will get bigger and bigger until he stopped %HESITATION because he was signed off work for three weeks and he was back in a week %HESITATION but yeah don’t listen when they got a little little triggers so do you have like M. can you recommend something that we can do to help us to pay more attention because they are like there’s some people here so %HESITATION who are so out of touch with their own bodies like woman how can they start start by just put bringing your awareness into a part of your body that is in your head home so you put your hand on your chest and just feel into that part of your body since it is all your body you know there are people who can follow the flow of blood around their body my own your body can you hear your own heartbeat most people come out most people don’t notice it hi you know it do things doing things like yoga and yoga breathwork one thing I do which I really recommend is it in our engineering which is a process that you learn and then you do every day for twenty one minutes and that’s been a life changer for me I really recommend that I think is one of the most powerful things that I’ve come across I’m yoga really brings you much more into your body switcher final I know it’s really unpopular thing to say but %HESITATION we don’t we don’t have funds for ten years let’s click on a smart phones that were online this your books your MPs raised everything you know but when the the first finds came up and said I’m gonna buy one when I can have my E. books on there my name music on there and looked at photographs that’s what we’ve got I’m sure they are indispensable you know you’re not receiving okay what was that message as unusual and you can you know you can find everything that you did in the lost however long your phone you had your phone certainly things tend to go missing when you get a new phone %HESITATION took names and addresses of people contact details conversations you had photographs she took its toll on that little female little box but you know when when you’re living in a house with people and you send them texts Roland going downstairs to talk to them you know we all do it but it’s this end this communication interpersonal communication with a real person %HESITATION at least with the phone you have a conversation so you can still hear the person that no why do we do what we do it you know you don’t pick up the phone and call somebody you’ll sit there which takes twice as long if it’s a long conversation that you’re trying to have a text wise if it’s just like don’t forget bread when you go to the shops than India as much quicker to do that as a message lately a gray %HESITATION I like I’m not a big fan of %HESITATION texting conversations all I can really really terrible night it really gets on my nerves and it’s so much and I had a friend as well she was saying like you almost have to send someone a text for say is it okay for me to call you where is like would have never happened if you’ll recall so you just you just call them but now it’s I would like it it’s like it’s kind of weird if someone calls you know it’s a bit too I know how to do that this is a good phone call when when’s a good time to cool yeah because people are so busy and people have well I guess yeah but I think it’s also because I think I write is on it is on natural you should be able to you know especially your friends you don’t okay maybe it’s somebody you don’t know so well yeah but if your friends if you can’t just call your friends you know they’ll never do it when the something wrong yeah you know that’s what I find now if it if it’s the cold you know where the coli and then they’re gonna go yeah and you know you know it’s going to be something that seems to be the only time when people feel that they can reach out and call somebody but I think it could also be because like we have our phones I guess like twenty four seven %HESITATION access to you and I think because before when you just had a %HESITATION landline phone is kind of different because if you’re not at home like overseas you couldn’t speak %HESITATION you couldn’t speak on the phone or like if you were doing something about words like with %HESITATION like if someone calls you while you’re at home you probably have the time to talk if that makes sense and dot they would like your phone wasn’t on you all the time yeah so you’re not available twenty four hours a day in which you are then yeah and and and and employers take advantage of that because then people start reading their emails when they wake up on the on the trains of you’re spending another two hours working just because you can I’m gonna have to start leaving my phone at home I think I think it’s a very good practice today I you know I love my phone but yeah I think it’s on opposite amazing tool I think it’s it’s up to you how you choose to use it like on my phone I don’t have %HESITATION because I can see that some people pay loads of different %HESITATION notifications on it like for me the only %HESITATION the total vacation I get is if you send me a text directly and if you send me a %HESITATION what’s up die rightly so no any groups no emails no %HESITATION Facebook no Instagram that’s just completely it’s I go into those apps on I want to say rather than constantly getting because it is constant yeah and if it brings our burgers are until something is just yeah it might be somebody important exactly both cost time is like going so quick like we can keep on talking for ages but I’ll have to start we have to %HESITATION start %HESITATION wrapping up and %HESITATION I just wanted to let recap then what do you think we’re like the key practices that help you to overcome the challenges that you faced and then with the successes that you obtained %HESITATION EST was a life changer for me home in terms of dealing with any kinds of emotional issues or paying or or physical issues because most illnesses have some kind of stress component behind it one thing I’m passionate about his %HESITATION infertility %HESITATION because there’s often cases where people have unexplained infertility and it had all the medical tests and there’s no reason for them to get pricing for them not to get pregnant and %HESITATION there’s so many things you can look at it from your history from your mother’s history from your grandmother’s history the committee influencing your ability to conceive now so I’m really passionate about working with that %HESITATION and the other thing is the interim generating the I told you which is a very simple %HESITATION pranayama which is yoga breath and some asanas retreat yoga postures and some meditation so it’s a twenty one minute practice and if you do that every day your life will change amazing I think one thing that really comes across to me really really strongly to me is that %HESITATION what you says all that you don’t give up they sought strength that but where does that come from like I’m I realized recently that part of it the hoping part I actually came from what happened with my mother when I was born because she left me under and she didn’t see me when I was born until I was two weeks old %HESITATION because she hasn’t stillbirths you still bust before me and I was only given a fifty percent chance of survival and I think you just didn’t I just couldn’t do it couldn’t face it can face holding another baby was gonna die so she came back so as as a baby to be separated from her mother and then she comes back and she came back %HESITATION and then she did it again because she went to her father’s funeral and then she came back so I learned that if you keep trying keep hoping keep wishing eventually you’ll get what you want %HESITATION so you know every cloud has a silver lining in and that that was the silver lining to me as I have this indestructible thanks eventually I will find if there’s a solution out there I will find it well %HESITATION fantastic and %HESITATION for the last question so %HESITATION what do you value most and hard to put it into practice he %HESITATION we discussed this at length didn’t win because we had quite different views I I thought I think love makes the world go round I really do and love love is simple things like taking a pack of biscuits and to the people at work you know being kind to people you know being soulful listening to what they say they like I enjoy the caravan and then presenting that back to them for their birthday for Christmas for things like that so just being there for people in keeping your word turning up when you say you’re going to turn up in these days that can be quite difficult sometimes %HESITATION and the the the problem we have is that people different things mean different things to people about love and lots of people I think that %HESITATION you know giving people things you know if somebody loves me they should buy me this holiday and do things for me hello I think one of the most loving thing somebody did for me that I was saying was he to the rubbish out for me although this was through all the you know Hey put the rubbish at so it’s it’s loving actions you know anybody can go and buy a bar chocolate a bunch of flowers you know yes it’s nice as thoughtful but for me it’s not a big deal but if you do something that makes my life easier all thank you thank you you know I love you to bits you know that makes me feel loved but it will do something for me yeah because I think one important point that you made when we had our conversation %HESITATION before is that it’s knowing what that person’s love %HESITATION would love nine which is because for some people it’s getting stuff you know and that means that means a lot to me we talked about the story about the the woman who is gay my husband doesn’t Love Me never buys me chocolates you never buys me flowers and the guy had spent six months building or a beautiful kitchen that was his love gift but she’s all of those flowers and hearts and stuff so those of those actions loving actions is one buying gifts as well and one spending time together is one physical love is another one fifty one fifty one I think is the words of words of appreciation and validation yeah yeah it so yes so when you when you’re with somebody and you want them to feel love it’s important that you try and work out what their love language is what things matter to them because otherwise you can be doing all this hard work and it’s falling on deaf ears which would be a shame if you’re if you really have love for somebody that you want to show them absolutely that’s fantastic thank you so much amazing very welcoming amazing I’ll tell me have you back on because there’s so many things that we haven’t talked about it so we’re going to dip into each each part %HESITATION more more more specifically %HESITATION in the future and the future interviews to come I would love to do that let me great thank you if anybody wants to find out a bit more about you %HESITATION what’s the best way to get in touch or to find you my website is top top top don’t me top top top top me it’s an easy are you on any social media channels some of the body full way on Facebook and %HESITATION tut tut tut me on Instagram okay fantastic thank you %HESITATION I make sure to all the links %HESITATION down below and then everyone can can find you easily that’s great so thank you so much I thank you so much for listening %HESITATION if you enjoy this podcast please make sure that you subscribe and if you thought that this episode could be beneficial for someone please and share it with a friend %HESITATION thank you so much I’m looking forward to the %HESITATION to catch you next time