#004 Personal Development, Mental Health and Confidence with Christine Alaby transcript

#004 Personal Development, Mental Health and Confidence with Christine Alaby Transcript

Please note the following transcript will contain errors as it is automated and is not always accurate but you will get the gist!

hi I’m Suzana Kalcic and you’re listening to life in practice podcast I’m curious about the big questions in life and how we can experience more meaning and fulfillment every day join me as my guests share their challenges successes and what it means to put our purpose our bodies and our lives in practice hello and welcome to the life and practice podcast this is your host Susanna and today my guest is Christine hello baby %HESITATION Christine is a confidence coach for young minds on positive parenting supporter he’s passionate about nurturing the next generation of happy and confident children unhappy parents welcome Christine all thank you so much CZ I feel so honored to be here thanks so %HESITATION Christina my connected over a shared passion and interests for personal development spirituality psychology %HESITATION probably some more things like we both want to make a positive impact we love sharing ideas talking talking yeah it is yeah so I wanna start off Christine %HESITATION how did your journey into personal development start like how how did you get into that and also %HESITATION spirituality as well ma’am I mean would you say that that the two are quite connected it’s free for personal development spirituality I do I fill in my opinion when you are doing personal development effectively you end up happening to your spiritual side I’m if you’re doing it fearlessly that that’s what happens said definitely it intertwines eventually even if you start with personal development in the beginning you will eventually get to supercharge he’s like it’s inevitable bisa beautiful beautiful journey %HESITATION so what what got you started on that journey is it something that you’re always interested in as a child there was a kind of like a point when I okay I need to I need to work on some shit here well actually I think some of us will be able to relate to this %HESITATION I in my childhood I had no idea what person development was didn’t know it existed it wasn’t ever question anything about you know who I am not really %HESITATION but as I got older and I finished university I start what can human resources and %HESITATION some it you know not out that if you can relate by it I ended up working in human resources feet feeling like okay this is my career PA off %HESITATION because I I felt those aside I mean I felt quite pressure to know what is I needed to do the kind of a house around amongst friends and parents and and and loved ones who kind of like a you need to have a career path and go for it %HESITATION so like how do you have answers okay and this is it I’m sorry I what I’m in for mark to farm in human resources for about a year and I feel that I would be happy in this enterprise just to find out that I was at she miserable and I was extremely bored and boredom kills the soul oh my gosh so I would go home after a day’s work and I just feel really numb inside and I wouldn’t want to just drain my mind from the the to pull them off that day by turning on the TV laying on the bed I’m just trying to trying to myself in absolute rubbish on TV I’m and I was do not every single day Monday to Friday and I couldn’t wait for the weekend and I know that I love all of us can relate to this eventually I got fed up and I remember coming home a day one day from what I said to myself they must be more to life like I asked myself this question on I was really I was standing in my room I remember specifically and I’ll never forget it because it was an absolute game changer boss myself there must be more to life than me just being in my time live in to what all I do is what and I’m fed up of looking for the weekend or looking for to to the holiday going on how are they coming home depressed because I have to go back to work why do I have to like get a present time because someone’s forced me to get up right so then I said to myself I made this to a set this intention I have no idea what I was doing by the way I stood in about personal development I had no idea but I was desperate and I said to myself I’m only going to do what makes me happy and it’s almost like the the universe responded like any G. ways just came out of me and and everything shifted all of a sudden my my friend was talking about the the the secret the book and I have to read the book and then I’m I’m going on my husband’s playing these motivational videos on YouTube every morning which had enough TV like everything just changed I quit my job and I go and put into personal development so I think all of us can relate however this some people who will go from life and continues to be visible in the nine to five in a in the job that I hate that but the president oppose them or some of them will be so for that they’ll pay for it and just go right this this job it needs to end I need to go before why it she really wanted it wanted to and for the fair and %HESITATION anyways absolutely so it kind of it sounds like you were searching for a purpose because like I think it’s not really that %HESITATION we don’t want to work because like actually when you do the work that you enjoy that your passion about that you’re interested in sex is fun to work but %HESITATION yeah when you’re doing something else this that is not a right fit for you yeah it does make you question like what the hell am I doing and is this is this really all there is I’m I’m so how did you then start the questioning process of what what is your purpose on what do you want to do you’re exactly right I was looking for my purpose so how did I do that I and once I had made that the intention %HESITATION are you going to do what makes me happy it wasn’t like a fluffy you know what is going to cover like find my favorite job and get it was going to be so happy dory it was me entrant into what happened is that she really is and happiness is very counterintuitive so I ended up going soul Searchin and honestly it was like an unfolding that was it the universe was just given the size and I was completely attracted to as I’ll go for this all of that and I was just willing to do anything within the realms of obviously making sure on the hominid myself or anyone else right but I was like I’m gonna do what it takes you know if I need to work on my confidence I working on my confidence I started working on my self esteem but then that’s when I realized I needed to call welcome that’s when I realized that I needed to work on my confidence and my self esteem I realized that when I was working in human resources I was keeping myself safe in this netted job do ninety seven G. teas and then I went from realize I went from believing that I was quite a call for the person to actually I have very minimal confidence I’m very low self esteem so then I toss your question are found alive purpose because online I’m at by an online coach he’s got these not doing coaching anymore but he’s got amazing you should platform I’m could Leo and his future bass because I tried the old I’m I’ve been following him for years and I did his life purpose because I knew it was a complete lead life changing experience I got to discover what my core values are because to us you to to also your point is well when you said it’s not that we don’t want to what there’s nothing wrong with what I can for someone there’s nothing wrong with doing a nine to five if you enjoy a face in alignment with your values and who you are however if it’s not you are going to experience unhappiness and boredom %HESITATION and and it’s may sound trivial boredom but it really kind rain the soul if you don’t do anything about it and become very depressant toes today that’s when I once I started working on my strengths and figuring out why is dice how how is it what it means for me to live in integrity with my values that’s when everything changed on my self esteem naturally we started to increase because I was more in alignment with my values I was more aware of what my body is what I don’t even know if I use existed until I actually discovered personal development yeah I really I I really like how you said that your self esteem raised when when you were integrity with your values because %HESITATION what I find quite often and the personal development sphere they often talk about developing confidence %HESITATION it’s more like you say to yourself %HESITATION I’m really good I’m the greatest I’m amazing I’m also gonna say does not really affect us that’s kind of %HESITATION it’s almost like a form of %HESITATION delusion really I think there’s a difference between Assange yourself I am aware the human being %HESITATION I I’m worthy to try to do like to %HESITATION to aim for goals or certain dreams that I have I’m worthy to put myself out there and aim for that but there’s a difference between telling yourself %HESITATION I’m amazing and %HESITATION also mind you know if there’s there it went up it’s not like oh you’re not awesome but it’s just not leave it is the question yeah I mean I think when I’m trying to say is that some people might think that that’s what confidence is like a false sense of just like St yourself %HESITATION I’m I’m I’m this amazing person whenever you don’t actually have the practices in place that demonstrate those qualities and that and that and that integrity off off off off alignment of your values and how you behave exactly I am to five a add to what you said is that when if when we say these affirmations I’m a confident person I’m an awesome person it like he says in in in in otherwise I will now add it it gives you a reason not to do what it gives you a reason to not actually dive in and go into your shadow self and go right what is actually going on how is it I’m sorry it’s hard to myself so you for myself for example when I started working on my self esteem I didn’t just I think affirmations but I didn’t just do affirmations I worked on myself I what tone how is that I judge people why I judge people how I judge myself my in the you know you know you about chatterbox like what’s going on that I was observing my behaviour is working on it adopting new rituals you have to do the work and it takes courage buys also takes it it’s a beautiful journey because you experience so much more healing and then the confidence and self esteem %HESITATION as a pre requisite just naturally by itself increases thank you don’t need to force it if you do the work but if we don’t do the work and we just do those affirmations they will be self sabotage at some point it went lost it won’t be sustainable because you haven’t worked on the sub conscious level you have to go quite the yeah and %HESITATION I think you’re you’re the one who actually recommended to the book the six pillars of self esteem you recommended that to me and when I read that I was like yeah that’s that is so it and it was actually one of one of the %HESITATION inspirations behind the name of this podcast actually because %HESITATION what %HESITATION I think it is the the name the name of the author is Nathaniel Brandon I think asset %HESITATION so what he talked about is a self esteem is not something that you that you just have it’s something that you practice and I love that because the M. because each of the six pillars was actually something that you need to consistently practice so that’s what radio that yes that makes so much sense and %HESITATION it’s often not just for self esteem but for anything that we do in life before not consistently putting it into practice it doesn’t exist exactly exactly it’s really important I’m unfortunately we don’t we don’t get at the moment total in school what it really means to have healthy self esteem to have to work on your confidence I’m so when we go free different experiences and trauma in childhood there is no place or tools were not taught specific tools on how to deal with our emotions and what it means and how to deal with troll mind X. negative experiences and positive experiences so we grow up as are those trying to manage all in a child that’s trying to get itself has so we can be difficult to maneuver that %HESITATION but that’s when president Obama can come in and help us to expand was already there because I am a believer that we already have in the greatness within us we don’t need to be anyone else but ourselves but we need to discover who this person is who are we outside of this ego who are we outside of fit who are we outside of low self esteem low self confidence if you could ask yourself that you’ll start to become that person and you realize that you will always that person says it’s not about I didn’t own personalities to yourself and characteristics it’s about actually peeling off the onions in the skin off the onions and that she realized in that you don’t need these traits you need you you need your fantasy to come out and you’ll see the people who drawn to you when you do that I I couldn’t agree more that’s a hundred percent on point I really really love that yeah because that is so true because people feel that that they do need to add things on but it’s actually no you need to take things off more more so but although in saying that the %HESITATION is is so important to have a growth mindset that you’re constantly well I mean sometimes %HESITATION people might say that %HESITATION you you’d like it I would come be interpreted that because you constantly need to grow and improve is that you will never be it that you will never be enough ma’am so there is sometimes a it’s important to make that distinction and and %HESITATION have a conversation about that potential conflict or contradiction definitely for me I I feel that I was really important for me what makes me feel alive so you would you could to help yourself also that that kind of concern you can also self what does what what does it mean for me to be alive like what was important for me and for me personally is to feel like I’m expanding my consciousness is expanding so I used to what expanded into interchangeably with growth the I’m growing but they do have expanded myself I’m expanding myself in times of my self love I’m loving myself more what the more I could love myself more the more I can love of this because you can only give what you have inside if you don’t love yourself as much is difficult to love someone else right so I explained that I expand my my strengths and I just expanding my connection with with others with the universe I’m not makes me feel alive so then it doesn’t feel like I’m not enough it feels like what else can I often like I’m discovering myself I’m like I’m remembering who I am so sick of remembrance rather than I’m not enough so therefore I need to go in becoming become a become done to get me wrong I get my days when I feel like I haven’t been doing enough in terms of the what I’m doing but at the back of my mind I I know that I’m great great so then why is I’m doing and I’m on a big commission that that’s beginning to myself and I feel like once you do that once you office of what makes me feel alive you run with it so if if it makes you feel alive to go and dance and teach people how to dance I know makes you feel alive go and expand the area if you love to do music go and expand the area and then you would expand if you love to write and write more and expand the area because if what we love we grow so I full dust that will help you to avoid that pitfall of feeling like you know enough because once the more you can focus on what you love the more you’ll be able to feel happier living yourself growing confidence great self esteem and the money and the material stuff will come but what from the river us what from way is that you enjoy doing yeah I was put in thing totally yeah I love that and you talked about self love and self care I think that’s a really a really interesting topic for me because %HESITATION what’s the what’s the fine line between self love and selfishness because self love IT is such a a commonly used term now that I think a lot of people can can easily misinterpret that or can be used in ways that aren’t maybe best intended definitely definitely unfortunately at the moment we live in a society where it’s almost frowned upon to go online or I haven’t you know doing a video clip to say I love myself because then you’ll probably get a tax and %HESITATION she’s so big headed %HESITATION narcissistic in Europe I’m but I feel that we at the my my society derby understand what love actually is love is very it’s a very deep that prospect in topic and has many different facets but we’ll let just to simplify it for this book for hate for him because we could go on about long very long time yeah what I mean by self love is the way it was the way that I became more aware of self love is to go in once so when you when you embark and maybe some of us have it you are listening ha already embarking on a soul to soul searching journey you will start to go in with whereas before we very outwards we’re very much looking at what other people are up to look what she’s doing look what he’s doing and all why she why she behaving like this I don’t like her I don’t like this and what we do is we just projects in our own how we feel about ourselves in the office I’m a project in on to them I will never look him words because it’s difficult but what I do is I started to look inwards and sort of became my own scientists so I was I did meditation practices that help me to do that and when you do meditation presses you go in words and as a prerequisite you start to tap into this self love energy it just happens right and I became a scientist and what I mean by that is I would observe my behaviors without judgment and if a judgment of rose I just allowed it to be that realizing that it was my ego so therefore I I was able to turn that into chapter books that negative talk about that judges in South Boston you can’t do this you can’t do that in its fight to change and become my own in a cheerleader and not enough to to stick way but if you can imagine imagine as much when you were a child imagine if you’re a parent was always telling you you can’t do anything you can’t do that you can’t play basketball I know you’ll be useless in life that’s going to become your inner voice and that’s what you’re gonna carry front your life you’re gonna project on top of other people when other friends and family what to do big projects are going to talk them out of it because you fear for them that they gonna just like full on their face and it just becomes you in that your parent becomes your invoice and that’s what happened to me I just had like these my inner voice my parents in the voice trying to protect me tell me a copy disk tell me I can’t do that not realizing that is having a detrimental impact on my self esteem when I started to observe my behaviors and retrain my mind and create this cheerleader costing you can do this come on you can’t just keep Pushin believe in yourself like I started to create this kind of mindset I’m not created more compassion in me to go for it and then because of that I have that compassion in a voice I’m able to project on other people I’m able to go to Susie you can do this so you the push yourself so you do not like and sophomore whoever I’m talking to my husband my children my childhood high have now because I’m so self aware I’m so much more self aware of my behaviors I will not put it on her and I will be able to create an invoice for her that’s her and she’ll either because of the way that I’m raising her and that’s the power of love when you come work and love yourself unconditionally I know it can take a whole lifetime like almost I’m always constantly working on it every single day I can’t it doesn’t just happen overnight a whole lot of time you couldn’t tell you that right by is very rewarding very healing it would allow you to offer that love to others and there is nothing more what fall I think in life and you can’t go wrong so why as you understand that once you understand the essence of love that when yet she love yourself you love covers your life will be absolutely amazing it will just be free for people who love you back you’ll realize just how much how connected you are to others and you will not come across as selfish or narcissistic you will come across a selfless effectively selfless move boundaries because people think selfless that musical delivery no no if you’re selfless and people could not love you it means that you’re not being effective in the area your self sacrifice and that’s just not gonna be sustainable and you can end up hating people but if you’ll be in selfless effectively you’re going to have boundaries you’re going to respect yourself you’re going to love yourself you gonna be compassionate with yourself you have two off days you’re human but your overall you’ll be compassionate with yourself and because of that you will be compassionate and patient and loving towards others but if you don’t have that within yourself if you don’t treat yourself that way already it will be so difficult to treat almost the same way and you’re going to want to trying to get that from others rather than give yourself to others while I love that Christine yeah that is so true that is so true because %HESITATION you need to give yourself that self respect and compassion %HESITATION because yeah a lot of people trying to get that validation from other people they need they need them to make them feel to make themselves feel a certain way absolutely however that this yeah oh yeah oh yeah oh my god I I where they knew what to what a boundary was back in the day it was awful like I was I was completely walked all over and taking advantage of but now I realize is when I look back on those experience I never describe it in a way that %HESITATION this person treat me this way or they did this and I’m like well no I allow this person to treat to treat me this way because that’s what the truth is exactly and that’s when that’s when you realize oh shit like I actually have a lot more power here exactly you have to stop this when you have a great point there because blame it takes your power away for example when I realized I was miserable working in human resources I realized I was the one about myself that I was the one I was making myself miserable but but you would think someone from the outside looking what is awful which is your fault it was actually the best experience and the best realization ever because I realized if I’m the one that created the situation it means I can get out of it it means I can create something new it means I am the creator of my world and no one else has that power over me that is very empowering but you have to experience that it’s difficult to kind of sometimes communicate that because people beyond gotta go what no it is obvious that it was that person’s fault it’s obvious that was that person’s fault but when you do that you give power away I think it’s it’s not the sort of %HESITATION %HESITATION if famous saying like M. thank you %HESITATION it treat me badly once shame on you but if you do it to me again that shame on me so obviously if someone does treat you in a bad way the first time I’m because okay that’s their fault but you’re the one then if it if this carries on then it’s on you like you have to set the boundaries you have to say okay you know if you want to keep this connection with me you know you need to treat me with respect with compassion you need to demonstrate that you’re trustworthy person or you know at however it is that the %HESITATION mistreatment happen like they have to demonstrate through their behavior but it’s up to you to reset that boundary and make it clear to them what’s expected and because if that’s not done if you just kind of go in a Huff like %HESITATION you know people don’t understand what’s going on exactly and that’s known as lack of communication and I can give you a perfect example for that yeah because the beauty are full of the beauty of life is I feel that way each here to bring up each of his greatness as fluffy as that might sound I really believe that that’s why we’re here I’ll give an example of what you just said when you said you have to set the boundaries of big to be clear it’s that person to communicate what is that you want to make the relationship what me my husband when we first started dating boyfriend girlfriend because I was because I had previously watched my sister have a boyfriend I don’t know quite aggressive that with I do every day I that was a part of me that illustrated the eyes %HESITATION that’s love you have to argue and fight and it’s because the fight every day and be very attached to each other so what I projected that with my my my boyfriend and I would we would have liked to have arguments I would raise my voice and I remember one moment he takes me I’m not listening to you right now I’m not listening to you because I we call communicate when you’re Shelton I remember he said to me if you want this to what you have to trust me if you want this to what we have to not show each other because this is not how I communicate he set his boundaries he said I do not shout I do not disrespect and I trust you and you have to trust me I’m not straight away I went poof right I’m clear on my behavior completely changed we stood as they would be to give about twelve years we we how do you raise a voice teacher ever we have artists but we have so much respect and he’s brought out of me he brought that back goodness out of me because it was already there I could show respect I could show empathy I could listen but I it was I had this belief system the owner you need to all you need to have fights you need to do this but when he put what he brought out of me by say in those boundaries is my integrate ness of %HESITATION actually I couldn’t be in a loving relationship and this is something that happens naturally for me I just didn’t know it was there until he told me what his boundaries were so that’s the power of boundaries there’s nothing wrong with being selfless there’s nothing wrong with loving yourself you don’t become narcissistic you have boundaries and you draw a route that that greatness from the other person opposite when his real love toward yourself when it’s coming from a real place from a real place exactly yeah so it’s a very %HESITATION %HESITATION there’s a point was going to make now %HESITATION is gone one day he’ll come back yeah no it was about setting boundaries %HESITATION oh my gosh no it’s gone it’s gone it will it will come back again but yeah I wanted to then go back slightly because %HESITATION we we started talking about your your job about human resources and then as you quit your job so did you have something to go to or was it just like you’re kind of went out there well I didn’t so I I when I realize all my gosh I’m miserable and on the pre on the one that created this misery I spoke to my husband because one of my limiting beliefs was I need to keep workin to make sure I could pay the bills and I you know I was quite erotic and I realize that without self awareness that scientists mode right my husband said don’t worry just leave your job we’ve got those covered I had we had quite a savings and I was quite good with money so I had quite a bit of savings before I left I said look I want to do Cochin so I went into the course so I had a plan B. but it wasn’t it wasn’t going to I wasn’t going to make money straight away I didn’t go and leave because I realize the sock with I was on what have you made a decision to just leave without having a backup job was that I would leave the job that was reasonable enough to have done this before I’m not going to find a new job like it for about a few months and then for miserable again find another job and I was tired of the cycle find another job is a close look of happiness somewhere whether happen isn’t job where is I’m gonna find it and I was I was fed up of it so I need to touch you leave and not have that security anymore of another job so that I could actually come out of my comfort zone I needed to know I actually have another job and I needed this is gonna sound very strange because I was very tight with my money because I was raised when my parents would say well we’re not we don’t have enough we don’t have enough we don’t have enough and I remember when I was really young I made a decision on never be broke out always have money those are the type of my money when I left the HR job I needed to actually break I needed to actually experience and letting go of money and are specifically remember the feeling that I think I had when I left my job I had about twenty four pounds in my account and I never felt more liberated in my entire life and I was in my twenties when I left I felt I was double that she got my my partners I was it but me myself as this independent person under my money that was a big deal I need it’s actually spurs being broke why is that so what I could food act I could let go of this tightness around money and get allow myself to have to believe that I could recreate wealth on the my own terms rather than the times of what my parents taught me always society was said to me because I wasn’t working for me I needed to come out of my comfort zone and to come out of my comfort zone I needed to feel a bit uncomfortable I needed to have not that much money in my account I need to not have that job that was going to back me up I needed to just start a fresh under my own terms and discover what was you I was and I’m able to do that awesome yeah I I I can definitely understand that I so what was your next step then what did you do so as I mentioned that the life purpose course and then I discovered what my core values were and when you when we discover walkable values are so your bodies could be and if it could be passion it could be love it could be %HESITATION adventure it could be that these kind of labels that we have once you discover what those values are they become your internal compass because as you mentioned earlier you said that you you before you did have any boundaries and people could what could I have you with me I realized that what are going to present the vitamin I reflected back into my old self I was very reliant on other people’s opinion like lurid even lie in like I would I was so reliant on specific roles as well like my sister R. and seven friends for example if they didn’t like my boyfriend I would have a boyfriend like I was I was I hadn’t I didn’t trust my own mind so once I have those values they became my into my in a compass they told me where I needed to go because I couldn’t go wrong with these values and and because of that I was less reliant on people’s opinions so when I start it up what I can on my my life purpose course and discovered all while coaching life coaching courses coaching this is what I want to do I want people to experience what I’ve been experiencing these breakthroughs %HESITATION I did I I went on this open day life purpose I live question open day I said to myself if this open day this this open day opens up the opportunity of doing live question if life coaching is and in the life of my values I’m going for it so light went short in the life of your body’s once you’re aware of what your buddies are A. I. she helps you make decisions so compared to all skin I’m be reliant on your friends and your family to help make decisions for you which aren’t people don’t always have your best interests at heart and even if they do they may just be projecting what they want to do want to use so you don’t always know what was the right thing because you’ve got your values and your fight is comes from within they you can you can it’s difficult to make mistakes so when I realized wow after I finish this open day and this is pretty it is serving a life of my buddies I thought so joyful and that’s one sign that when you know you’re making the right decision you feel quite joyful and I went for it and I just believed in myself because of those values and your values will change as you get as you grow as you expand yourself as you go deeper into personal development they wanted that to change have changed already for me our review them every every year %HESITATION because we always were very expensive as humans so we always Changin and you’ve got yourself so when you feel like you’re you’re not feeling very happy years something’s not right look at your values I’m realign yourself and you’ll become less reliant on the pinion opinions of others and that’s really important you can respect people’s opinions you can take them on board but don’t let that be your rule of thumb just focus on your values and let your body’s Beale compass in life %HESITATION yeah definitely but I think although %HESITATION to your point they say that your values change I’m not sure how I. five fairly for the %HESITATION agree with socks I think for me when I think of bodies also think of things like %HESITATION integrity %HESITATION all the courage honesty love compassion I think those are these those types of bodies from my perspective would be something consistent but for the way I understand what you’re saying is maybe things like because like you say your your bodies of change so maybe when you’re younger you might value of freedom more but then as you get older you have a child you might value security more something more stable is that kind of where you’re going without Zach Lee so for example when I first got it got into personal development because it is funny how I noticed this off that as a group and as you kind of reflect on yourself and you you see your evolution but the more one of my top bodies is freedom but if you can imagine I went from freedom restricted and what can this human resources environment to our freedom it was almost like rebellion but I needed that value at the value of freedom was very in Spain is very inspiring and allowed me to go out there and I live a life more freedom that live in my own times but now that freedoms changed into now self expression so is still into twice it is freedom is still with it within the self expression I’m I need to feel free to express myself he’s just changed slightly so for the way that I did my values I have my five core values that the definition changes slightly but the core of it is the same so the coral and essence of your values is consistent the core of who you are is consistent but that if the actions that you take within your buddies might change so for example you may value freedom and and I go okay I’m gonna do live coaching because it allows me to be free and I might go %HESITATION I kept alive because you for five years but now there’s another way I want to be free I want to be free by tribe in the wall for a year so you do what your values may change in terms of the things that you do you but the core and essence of your bodies like the integrity would stay the same I for that status and and and however not so of flexibility allows you to experience life in different ways I think that the different facets of life rather than if the languages in one place but you wouldn’t anyways because you have very grandiose at inspiring beautiful values that will enable you to grow but the essence of you will always be the same the core of you will be saying totally yeah yeah I agree %HESITATION because you know I’m I’m a huge fan of assignment and cynic and he’s got his book start with why in one of the key points that he always makes is that your why doesn’t change but how you express thought why can exactly exactly so your values at that we’ve you but your core values your call self doesn’t change socially savvy so you’ll Y. could change your Y. off those values and you saw what from freedom to sew spokesperson said the Y. slightly changed but that house the her name yeah exactly the how yeah it’s totally wrong %HESITATION yes so am I one of them now go to %HESITATION because you had quite a challenging time as well %HESITATION Christine because you’re kind of on this soul searching journey and it was it it all started out really well but then you kind of hit hit a wall would you say are you you you you reached a point where yeah I mean what how would you call it a challenge would you call it a I if any or yeah I think it was a mix of everything I just mentioned a wool a challenge %HESITATION %HESITATION a spiritual healing experience so basically in a nutshell what happened was I went on this soul searching journey and me myself I’m a policies made I see sometimes wonder speak for myself but sometimes I can get very cool off in that every fairy like oh my gosh okay and when I dive into something %HESITATION diving deep and I like to find I’ve got a list of questions about the universe and why we here I always have a voice being question in I remember I was really young off myself how do I know I exist I remember us myself I was very young how do I know I exist so although most of these questions I now get lost in them you know I get quite lost in the southern %HESITATION if I can mention that they’re of meditation practices and the increase of the law of meditation I went on a retreat I had %HESITATION you know some spiritual experience is to the point where I I she became you can have a special expresses it can be beautiful but then as often as the shadow side as well and when I became quite meant to be a mouse so how does it would be quite a psychotic episode where I had like a panic attack to the fullest what is extreme I’m and I I’ve I’ll remember being at my mom’s place I just finished with a client I had a beautiful experience we’ve had a great session with her came home and I suddenly had the judge ruled I felt like I had this realization I wasn’t a different dimension like I felt like I was lost like my mind just kind of just exploded because I did have a price that I did have some insights about ourselves as as you know who we are as humans and know what the ego is an and they were quite mind I thank you Bobby swearing I guess where please please take my fuck right like massive like everything that I thought was reality wasn’t so I think my ego panicked they is is what you what time as an eager pack back %HESITATION backlash so it’s almost like I was on %HESITATION I don’t know if if some of our viewers may know this time but is so much like I was in a I had a psychedelic experience like and by had the shadow side of it with what you take in the sight of that exciting take any anything at that point I’m still haven’t yet %HESITATION but anyways and so it was a bit of an a negative experience where I thought oh my gosh I’m in a different dimension I mean the ones I mentioned my mom had a balcony on the first floor and I jumped off the balcony and I called the ambulance I was like oh I shouldn’t be here should be here and I I I my mind suddenly had the urge to want to connect with the divine like I just had I was like I want I want to be out of it %HESITATION so anyways I ended up being in %HESITATION put into a mental health institution for two weeks but the journey was it sounds it sounds quite side but it was actually a beautiful journey because what happened was I not as I was in hospital it’s almost like members of my family is illustrative just came out of them on my next trip came out district I never knew I had and what benefited me in that situation is that because I was already of a coach because I was already working on self awareness I’m working on my personal development I was able to be if you could say I had to face is in hospital so I was on while I was also self aware very self aware that I was unwell so it’s almost like I was observing my behaviour so I was able to heal very quickly even though all are permitted so low I was able to help myself quite quickly my sister she was studying astrology at that point she had some friends that would do in astrology they were able to come and visit me and and kind of help me explore what was going on with me and while why this was happening and I it was it was part of my journey as part of my chart that this is what I need to do to just work on my energies and ground myself again they told me to keep meditating journaling so what I was doing Jordan creativity I was and liaison and connect him with the other patients there and I developed a love compassion for them so it allowed me to dive in deeper into the essence of who I am and come out with even stronger %HESITATION and they help me to understand what mental health is and what is she really going on there I’m way is we can actually learn from patients %HESITATION so it was quite a beautiful journey was a tough one but I would do it again if you would ask me would you do that again I’ll go for it again because it was sometimes we need to go through hardships to discover who we really ought to discover what potential is not enabled me to do that sort of thing I believe it wasn’t by accident it was it on purpose so what are some of the key things that that you learnt then from the experience were because you’re saying that %HESITATION because you were able to be very self aware throughout the process like what kind of things were you were you observing and what what did you learn about mental health and about yourself and how you how how how this whole thing happened I learnt the importance of open yourself up to work on yourself what on the elements of yourself off ourselves that we’ve we’ve decided to neglect so when I was in hospital I was quite I was encouraged and not forced but that I had that opportunity there was no other way but I had the opportunity to work on the aspects of myself that I had neglected so the aspects of myself that I didn’t like that the enjoy I had some low self esteem in times of my body image I had to work on that and I and also just asking these existential questions of you know what is the universe who are we you know when I was a liaison with patients I would listen to them speak and I would say things like oh you know time doesn’t exist time is just something that we’ve created that the mice created and that’s actually something that I had learned in my personal development through my soul searching journey you hate groups saying these things mistake saying these things and I’m hearing this from a mentally ill person and I was looking at them and I was like wow that’s really like this amazing what you’re saying where is the doctor my feel insane but they actually have a point they hatch they actually there’s wisdom coming out of the %HESITATION of of of their mouths you know what I was learning from them %HESITATION so I did just allow me to have more compassion and more patience with myself as I was going through this journey but in essence they allowed me to realize that we are stronger than we realize that week that the universe doesn’t give us the hardships that we could never overcome it always gives us what we do they know we can handle at that time I know because of the experience I know I can go to the next level I know that because of conflict that that experience of being ill mentally I know that I can overcome that and go to the next level of my psyche and discover what else is I need to work on to become the best version of myself that’s that’s what I’ve learned is just give me even more courage and patience so what kind of things did you have to do to heal did you have to go on any medication or did you have any other practices or anything like that what what what what was that the healing journey so I remember when I when I first was institutionalized in a mental hospital I said to them I do not want to be on medication I’m a mom had experienced a depression for a good few years and she’s been on medication for for for a long time and I don’t want that for myself and they want to be a medication for his my life I knew that was gonna happen but I needed to be on the move because they were very much and force in this you know a medication medication I wanted to heal naturally I want to find out what was actually going on I don’t want to be drugged up however having said that the medication I did temporary end up taking medication because I ended up pivoting is going to be very overwhelming and this is the kind of we’re gonna give you this medication temporarily to help you to harmonize yourself so that’s with the beauty of medication is necessary we can help you to just ground yourself so that you can do that in a what and that’s what happened for me I’m and then what I did was I also continue to do my coaches always coach Mike price was I was in hospital that holds the ground it was amazing my sister encouraged me to wear black %HESITATION to help me grow because I need to focus on ground in myself because I went from like wearing colorful cut is a be very you know my vibration was so high and that’s great you could be in a behind the high vibration but if there’s still a lot of dark light is there still a lot of you know what you need to do the new universe going to drag you down is about no no you still go to work today so I need to grow myself cells weren’t bought condos like brown and black to just to grab myself I was reading my personal development books I was meditating ten fifteen minutes a day to ground myself and also the key thing that I was doing as I was speaking to my my husband my sister with the ones that I could really entrust my deep is forced to and I would it surely tell them exactly what I was thinking I’m in that moment because I feel that with mental health when we’re on well it’s difficult to kind of cognitively understand what’s going on and then express out bye for that one of the the best heating mechanisms when the when the when the person is ready is to speak out what they think and and and and it takes work but that’s exactly what I knew I needed to do so when they came to visit me I will tell them exactly what I was thinking it doesn’t matter how irrational it was a common one moment we will plan because and they were both both of them having a laugh and I said to them all guys can I just pause for a second I just wanna tell you right now that I’m thinking that you guys are gonna leave me and you’re going to go and you can forget about me in hospital and you’re gonna get married and you can forget about me and I knew remember I told you how the site is part of me and I had the the rational and well part of me I knew was very irrational I needed to express it because the power was so strong and they grounded me again they grounded me and they reassured me and not grounded me back he grounded me back ground every day I will call my sister at two o’clock in the morning and tell her I’m not feeling grounded I she would ground me again I did that for two weeks and it was all the hospital room that so great and I it just shows the the importance of having the right support around you as well and having people that you can trust I’m sure some people who do find themselves in that kind of situation maybe they don’t have someone that that world grounded more knows how to so exactly my sister is a must see even I shot the into power she was amazing I should be I’m not even exaggerating I remember there were times when she was literally reading my mind it was mind boggling we were out I will to have full cooking wanted to look in one in and she would say things like oh are you experience it is I think why you as young grounded and I was I called and she was she was just she would seep into my mind issue but I’d say the hooks because she wanted this is the kind of what she wanted to go into as well and I told you this is the beauty and not that often that we hear in this universe to drop a great each of his greatness I don’t like to start I’ve noticed you have such greatness inside of you like this is amazing because of this experience I’m having is coming out of you look at this she has some resolve conflicts as well so it is beautiful that she was like oh wow I didn’t know I could coach like this while amazing man so what happened after then when you when you come out of the hospital what was it like when you were back in would you call it the real well yeah %HESITATION I came back how and I focused on just in he land and taking it day by day %HESITATION I went from like meditating in one hour a day to just how often now %HESITATION I just slow down if you’re slow down slow down %HESITATION and it because I realized I was into twine in those aspects of meals into twine and passed the development of the racist does do a lot of number I was quite a rustic with personal development because you can be in a rustic with personal development side I slowed down I think it is because I am I’ve heard you say it %HESITATION and a conversation %HESITATION before I think maybe you took some of the things a little bit too it’s really like I like because I think because you mentioned that you read the secret on S. and such and some of the things that they say that your thoughts become things so you’re almost like too afraid to think something’s %HESITATION I’ve had this thought it was a gun %HESITATION exactly so when I was having a panic attack a negative force will come in I believe that would happen and when you when we feed into negative force it is exact accelerates and because of the level of I’m gonna say vibration but because of the level of operation I was in I was very I was already in and very negative state of mind I because I was in a negative state of mind the energy was very strong the negative energy is very strong so when a negative four will come up like all my gosh if I carried on acting like this my husband going to leave me I would believe that and a novel speeding onto itself and then generate and not it not been negative full I’m not that’s the nature of panic attacks it just feeds on itself and it becomes a vicious cycle and it impacts on your behaviors and and the way that you show up sign is just grow myself and get back to the equilibrium yeah so then did your perspective or your your approach to personal development changed slightly then or or was it the kind of things that you were because like with the secret I’m like %HESITATION I’m not sure is that like real personal development night does if you know what I mean it’s kind of more like an idea or theory I think %HESITATION like personal development books like for example the one that you recommended to me about %HESITATION the six pillars of self esteem or Stephen Covey’s seven habits of highly effective people I feel like those ones have a slightly different take on it there are there a lot more practical they’re a lot more %HESITATION %HESITATION yeah I think part two is probably the best way to win does not make sense why Sally made sense it was excellent with the secret if it is a bit like every ferry on the on one part it’s like they’re just saying stuff that people want to hear that %HESITATION if you just sit there and visualize all this money you’re gonna be rich you know cycle actually no we actually do the work exactly exactly not just like work on yourself but actual work exactly work too but I thought the the secret it it takes it it tells part of the story yeah almost %HESITATION from my perspective it allows us to allows people to find the positive in this situation and have a bit of a reassurance that things can be better that they can get the control back but he tells part of the story and I can come across because it’s part of the story comes across as fluffy so definitely it I thought it taps into being nervous if you could say so it says this is who you need to be so be more abundant Fink more abundant force and then from the being in the US you will behave and take the necessary action but the action in the behavior is kind of missing in that book if from that perspective yeah yeah that’s when you need to actually defeat to the what but the more you can focus on the being ness of who you want to be and the best way to do that in my in my opinion is to find out what your values are then you will start to become that person and from that place of becoming an adult and being not pose any safety want to be more compassionate if you wanna be more outspoken if you want to be more confident you will start to take the necessary actions that matches that pot dot dot presidency that makes sense how come yeah of course like the first thing which has to change is is your thoughts and your %HESITATION release that you are capable of doing that because if you don’t believe that you won’t take this step exactly these are they and from what you said from the beginning to follow through with that when you said I was not just the simplest go now I’m also ma’am Amazin there’s a spectrum I called her and say to to to you from from if I was a person who has really low self confidence and they say oh you know icon how can never write a book or never be able to do it I could then go as a coach right I want you to write down this information you are awesome put it in for a new America and save yourself every day it will be difficult for her to go from I’m useless to I’m awesome the spectrum is too great and the mind is too intelligent the mine’s gonna go no you’re not you just you spent twenty years telling me that you know useless this is why you’re lying so you get we need to we need to follow the spectrum gradually so I would coach that that client and say okay you’re saying your affirmation right now is I’m useless we need to go to I’m useful all but I can try this it needs to be gradual and then you go from I’m useful too I am I have a gift in this %HESITATION I’m talented in this all there’s a possibility that I could do this or I give myself permission to write my first letter my first paragraph give yourself permission and then you gradually go up the spectrum to eventually go I am awesome and then your mind will go or we’ll be in alignment with that it takes a gradual process today and also say and and that kind of %HESITATION example of that %HESITATION that particular kinds of if they commit to writing something every day that will fill hang on a minute I’m I’m doing all this writing and they’re learning from the work that they’re doing then yeah they will %HESITATION believe in themselves because they’re doing the work exactly exactly rather than just saying something to themselves exactly and I’m not reminds me of a a book %HESITATION %HESITATION %HESITATION how quantum physicists build new beliefs amazing books how quantum physics to the police and %HESITATION that book illustrates the whole importance afforded to spectrum so remember when I said how I went from high vibration joy love X. I was like oh my gosh I control I control my well that I can help people and whatever you know and I will give it to down to the low energy off of me is because I went to high to quicken the mind couldn’t take it but in this case how Clinton visibility believes he has you guys start from where you are so if you have a customizable sample stuff from I have no money to I have some money and I have money I’m excited about money and you move gradually to the highest frequency which is love but you do it gradually and then for and you may for a call but it’s gonna take ages enough is going to happen well actually things do happen you start attracting different people different situation straight away as soon as you do that yeah totally and I think %HESITATION I actually from my perspective slow and steady is the way to go because that’s one that’s because that’s when it’s up when it will actually be sustainable exactly nine you you’ll be able to carry it through I think it goes with anything it could be when you’re trying to change your diet or you’re trying to conquer something like for me %HESITATION for example like %HESITATION because you know you’ve been to %HESITATION Toastmasters as well so %HESITATION because I have a stammer and then for for me to go okay I have a summer I’m too scared to speak in front of people to like it during this massive speech you know and you just would not yeah so it wait I just I kept going up during the small roles just speaking a bit like at first I I would just look down on the floor I just kept doing it I kept doing it and then eventually you know I I did some great speeches comes natural for yeah so today I do not right now what next do I need to do to come out of my comfort zone yeah exactly it but is is taking those small steps and push yourself up a bit more each time because then that %HESITATION self assurance or that confidence is strong and it’s Abel is not going from %HESITATION shit like I’m really scared I I can’t do anything to like %HESITATION like putting you on stage in front like a hundred people exactly and if something goes wrong you never do it yeah right it’s like you if you watch the way children okay bro don’t go from being born to eat so it’s from being bought newborn tubal Cain it’s a gradual process you wouldn’t go in she teach a two year old maths algebra before they’re ready you to wait until they stop second there’s a secular school primary school and it it never rains is always a gradual process and not house office team works it’s gradual Tuesday missing steps would just pay you back you’ll just fall back and self sabotage but that self sabotage needs to be minimized and it needs to dissipate free gradual growth that’s why for me I will never stop expanding I will never stop growing until the end of my my days and I love the I love the idea of just continue to be great because I feel like with %HESITATION infinite beings actually never Rendon is always new things to discover and that’s a scary thing that’s an exciting thing it means that you can explore the watch is being Explora I love that yeah totally I think just to really drive home that point of like putting in the consistent work and the the gradual process because of what I’ve seen quite a lot with personal development sometimes is there is a branch of it especially %HESITATION whenever people want to get rich quick kind of thing they always wanna sell you an I. O. this is like the this is the hock or the three steps so if you do this then straight away your you will get the you’ll get the results that you want man there’s such an emphasis on this that speed yes yes yes definitely and people trying to sell you the idea that you can have something big quickly that way then I think as it offers it does offer some people but that’s a rare you know very rare like I don’t believe in %HESITATION an overnight success or anything like that like is usually took people like ten years to build on something or to work across the face yes yeah and then maybe one point someone saw them at the right time in the right place which made it seem like it was like an overnight success but they had done all the work prior to that to prepare them for god’s unity and we don’t see that we don’t see the struggle they went through before because they what they what nine so you’re going to see them and find them on Instagram when they fix prices but you haven’t seen what they’ve done to do that so that is why I really love what you’re saying is so true thank you we are in a society at the moment where is what about instant gratification I feel we will outgrow it by the moment it is about get it quick can get it now but we will I think some people started to realize when I duped by those programs in our schools is they realize actually it’s not as simple as that you know sometimes by nature what we could be quite lazy but we just got overcome that lasers and just do the what and and what’s what’s beautiful is that when you I think the most important thing is to overcome the designers at all people who want to overcome this this this is the question okay should I what I’ve accommodated that they don’t want to have to feel like they need the success tomorrow of my people and I called one of the companies like always I’m so impatient and that the most important the but the most important method though the best method to overcome that is to enjoy and trust the process so you need to enjoy the process don’t get me wrong I make videos every week and it competes this tedious parts of it as base where it’s at for straight in but in essence I love it I love creating content I love the process and when I see it I’m like wow so it’s just about enjoying the beauty of your what and then you won’t even see the time fly by this is the first instant rectification might be in a public view anymore because the gratification you get it from just doing the work itself for the sake of doing the what so today I love %HESITATION yeah because I think so many people they see like is are like someone who wins and and and an award for something or they’re like right so they’ve got all the like %HESITATION material wealth they kind of say okay that’s the goal rather than actually the work is the goal exactly because when you when we get those things but then realize all okay with Saifullah was like in the new car and you get bored of it and you won the next thing but when you actually love your what you love the prices you love getting up in the morning you love writes in the book %HESITATION doing the video doing your part cost you the joy that feeling of joy and satisfaction just just emanates free you and then you don’t feel like you need anything else and then the success is a bonus so does that mean that the benefits the material stuff is a bonus rather than suffer your reliance on and trying to grip and gets bite that takes what it might set is what about mindset so today yeah I’m just keeping an eye on the time we need to start rather a day if you keep going absolutely %HESITATION so I feel like this you know you you will have to come back on here so we have a a part two days into are you on this conversation %HESITATION but just to kind of tie up %HESITATION briefly so where are you now with your work okay so you were doing you you you be doing the coaching are you still doing coaching or have you branched off because I know since being a parent some things have shifted for you suggested let us know yes what you’re up to now yes so to reiterate my values have shifted slightly the echo essence is the same way I want to spread my message and be the catalyst to draw people’s greatness and I’m doing not through now not just whereas before I was working with adults and it was one to one question I’m now child in that greatness for out of others fruit children and parenting says what about nurturing the next generation because I’m realizing that we’ll need to we only vo van but we all need to there’s a lot of terrorists have terrorism happened in in the in the in the wall does if I meant the shoes there’s loads and loads of kind of negative aspects negative things are happening move in the world the Eiffel that we need to work on the root of the problem and one route what I’ve been you is free the way that we’re raising our children because our children are the next generation then and then the next politicians dead the next doctors dead the next lawyers and I’m all about suspicious is having a child very sensitive to the growth and the way that would not you know grows raising our children so I’m not a you tube channel well provide material and content where I share my parenting journey I do it %HESITATION research and I’m doing some collaborations with some professionals on how we can all right happy and confident children because that would then cause a ripple effect where they will then raise happy in call for the children then they will raise topic of the children it creates a ripple effect where we can then find out create what’s what my children are happy and confident they more able to be innovative and find new ways of saving the environment all of the save in the era that that and the government and and you know then making positive change so that’s the essence of way I’m to Michael for his coaching so that the child in this is different the target market is different but the coach in is pretty much the same wow that sounds absolutely amazing Christine thank you I love it the project but I yeah I did yeah amazing %HESITATION so just to wrap up now %HESITATION I wanna see so what have been the key practices that helped you to overcome challenges and to attain success so the key one is my meditation practice that I would do aside right now offices having child I’ve I’ve I have to be more flexible but I’ve been doing every night as a virtual meditating guided meditation for fifteen minutes and in my own my own side of meditation for ten minutes I and that enables me to just keep working on my self awareness self awareness is powerful what she knows and can understand yourself you come welcome what’s limiting you and I and causing you to not create the what the life that you want %HESITATION I’ve been working on my limit to believe for John Allen and I’ve also gone into disagreement so maybe in a future episode because yeah that bottom working on tools connected with my subconscious can it to move my dreams %HESITATION when you do lucid dreaming is basically about you realizing that you’re dreaming washer Dreamin and when you do that you can you can do things in a dream yeah it’s weird when that happens I mean I’ve had a few of those I have yeah yeah yeah it’s a weird kind of die right to dream big is actually in an office questions like you know what should I do my career and and things that you can I should just a conscious %HESITATION I have if I know I haven’t gone that far funny like I usually like %HESITATION I’m going to fly yeah you have some fun and you can use it for union workers will also grow but by less is if you want to do that’s quite that takes quite a bit of work but you can take quite a bit of what some people would listen to me to be quite natural but for me it takes a bit of what but in in the simplest sense meditation and just working on my self awareness and self love so looking at myself in the mirror so what I would do the Mirai outlook when I also freshman T. for something simple things simple things a very powerful when you do it continually apply myself a kiss no of course not and that some people thought I was so certain offices take because it allows me to go and be loving to someone else it allows me to be loving to was my child patient told my husband I give that out because that’s what I’m given to myself so I’ve been practicing more self love self cat working on my diet eat more healthy foods just I am having more patience with myself it’s just days daily practices of meditation and blow this up myself a kiss for the mirror every day and smiling sounds simple but it’s not always easy to do but the more you do it the more it hasn’t posted in parts on your behaviors and peaceful yeah I love that and after the final question %HESITATION what do you value most and how do you put it into practice I values self growth I value I value self growth expansion so I use I interchangeable so I practiced this free reading personal development books listening to personal development audio books and asking myself how is this going to help me grow to five a how is this going to help me expand five off that I’ve read that book how can I implement what is that this book is trying to teach me it doesn’t matter if it’s something and a small action I do every day it has to be something houses expanding me because like I said before that’s how I feel most alive when I feel like I’m growing I feel alive so this was really important for me I can’t be doing something they and then they out as a job that’s that’s not an ally move that it has to be everything has to be an aligned with that so I’m always asking myself I’m having a bad day from feeding low where am I lacking in self growth where my lacking in self love and then get back to that and and give myself that self love so that I can take them in the right action rather than than the rustic action yeah that sounds really good I just wanna Dicks just lightly deeper into the self love because as you mentioned that you you like blow yourself a cast but what about in more practical terms like what do you do %HESITATION because you mentioned about healthy foods yes %HESITATION yes anything else that you so we can be a bit clearer more like what does it mean to to practice self love okay well okay so there’s another there’s two things one practical thing you could do as well which is what I’ve been doing especially if you are like me and you’ve had some never negative experience of bug body image let you fill in a bit you have to have if you had my self esteem comes to body image or you want to reconnect with your buddies specially after having a child so why do I when I can %HESITATION is off to my shower I’ll get my lotion up above nice relaxing music on I now which is actually consciously put cream on some of us we put cream on it quickly and then go about our day but I would actually pose even if it’s just for two minutes was my babies running around and I was just consciously put cream on and actually look at my body and just be in orbit and beat out while these these bodies and allowing me to be here right now I just enjoyed it so I would do that I’m not really elevates you makes you feel good that’s beautiful yet to really connect to connect yourself to your own body and psyche said to feel that gratitude exactly mazing staying or this yeah this was the number that the more you’ll realize that is a beautiful is beautiful it is you you may face some resistance at first but just allow yourself to just put some cream on consciously just but I’m quite remove my arm right now to stuff like that and then you go out you look at your hands and go wow look at that distinction and the detail my yeah just the fact you have all these joints and you can like the way that you can move your body is acting it’s so it’s so amazing to me how the powerful and and also another thing you could do is the eyes you’re going to know about your day today Stricker had struck a Honda structure on sometimes I give myself a hug I got this if I’m feeling like I did say to the wall it is negative voices coming in not just give us a hard and it completely changes your fit physiology it changes it brings eight eight nationally brings out the oxytocin not love hormone and you because of that you behave differently because in essence we want to behave differently we want to change our habits but we thought I would %HESITATION if I just do this bring up you have to do it but we don’t realize that we need to do it from within one to stop from within so if you can release I’m just released a positive energy within yourself you’re naturally behave differently we’ll be off for you to to pick up that bhaga no I mean I thought healthy after you’ve just gone I love myself I’m going to the Senate this could be different because you it’s hard to love yourself and eat and have a cigarette no I would not cause cancer I got I love myself I’m gonna have decided instead to I’m just not gonna pick up a cigarette you know it sounds it sounds quite simple the way I’m saying it but the more it just takes practicing what change behaviors and I’m building on which tools is practice you need to what that the sub conscious what’s from repetition doing every day and if you fall off the boat went by Mike a full week does thank yourself for it just go right I’ve put I’m gonna keep up again I’m going to pick up again become again pick up again and then give up yeah totally I think also just to add to what what came to me now is about when you make choices about what what what what kind of things you’ll consume or what what %HESITATION even what which type of people you will connect ways or what you would do is like instead of saying something as good or bad at the high severity but it’s like is this life %HESITATION is this life affirming or not affect beautiful powerful CZ that is such that’s so much more powerful than that’s good that’s bad because especially comes to food like this at a certain time it might be good for you but in mine it might not be exactly so I would say if we it might be good for you but it might not be for me exactly which which has happened to me with with that with some foods like for example %HESITATION people say that %HESITATION that of Ocado’s are like really healthy but I know I can eat them they give me really bad stomach pain yeah yeah so like that’s no good for me exactly exactly that doesn’t serve you yeah and you know when we say August could feed us back me in a new video on that but I need a call it’s pretty bad if I do that when we raised I’m being told you opened your good your bad that’s bad all the time those labels what a rebel afterwards so although I really want that but the hope I really shouldn’t is bad I won’t have it but the next day I’ll go because it happened I had bad yeah so was I but %HESITATION but we did it to himself so I’m gonna have that bugger tomorrow as a rebellion but if I go there is this bogus serving me is this bugger allow me to be my best self how is this bug going to help me it doesn’t okay it doesn’t and then he he sent me full throated feeling restricted when you set us back you for like a sense of like relief and you go OK this is going to serve me this site is gonna give me energy this is going to be full good and then however if you do end up having that bugger you got okay I had that bug give yourself compassion for it rather than have reprimanding yourself and and say not Nazi because this is going to make you fall but again it’s gonna make you rebel it’s going to create a vicious cycle and then you wonder why people have this yo yo effect of reason weight gain weight so you want to give you some compassionate %HESITATION I had that burger is it speaks to you in a child like you would your own child you would give them compassion and grace okay honey had that but I you know it’s you know what the consequences all right tomorrow you can have your site it might feel good about it and you’re more likely to have that sort of because you’ve given yourself compassion rather than reprimanded yourself and and shot you know giving yourself this negative experience because you will most likely go on having a bigger again yeah I like burgers knowing exactly exactly yeah %HESITATION but anyway %HESITATION I think what I was gonna say is that when you connect to what is truly life affirming %HESITATION when you are when you choose life affirming whether it’s food or behaviors they feel really good yes definitely and the more you chain into that the more you realize or actually if I eat this or do this or behave in this way it actually makes me feel bad exactly so it’s kind of rather than saying oh this is I should do this or I should do that you just naturally let go of things that are not life affirming let go let’s just go out yes let it go not just I don’t know it like you like it’s not like a forced discipline because that’s coming from a different place exactly is is not take I never ceases is is is destroying his drawing yeah so you want to come from a place of calm you wanna come from a place of reality is this serving me is this seven me and others what would it hurt me yeah and it and again it goes back to %HESITATION Simon Sinek sought with why why are you wanting to eat healthier why are you wanting to have this business owned this passion he needs to be M. innocence by you touch you move you because if it doesn’t you’ll easily give it back to that negative request a totally and I think when you tune in and then when you realize what is truly good for you is also for the greater good all the S. there’s no difference exactly because if you’re tuning into just %HESITATION what’s good for me %HESITATION then you know that can have some very negative consequences as well yeah yeah like if something is only good for you but is bad either for another person or for the environment eventually that’s going to be bad for you exactly it’s about a previous back I’m let me say so so messed up when you come from a place of selfishness way it is this is what many say is good for me you’ll notice if you know I’m I’m not using the weapon it doesn’t I could really do I would dream okay yeah okay %HESITATION smoking we can increase across the board exactly we know that smoking is bad for us so you could if you would would you go smoking is good for me %HESITATION you’ll cook for smoking is good for me because it calms me down but you know in essence is not good for you and you know it’s not good for officer it’s going to destroy at some point right wing government to deal physically but when you noticed that something is good for you I can capital G. yeah I promise you it will be good for the whole population I’m not peruse that your call is great that you are divine but you are amazing not proves that because what is good for you capital G. ism I’m already amazingly good for everyone around you simple example because I’m eating healthier even healthier my husband even healthier you know it and I haven’t really said anything to him he’s just buying different foods healthier foods well quite healthy anyways but we just up in the MP either go to the next level right I know and and it’s just happening naturally mmhm because I’m thinking about what’s good for me but capital G. because I know it’s good for my family otherwise I could say I’m gonna buy junk food enable and everyone is junk food around me because I don’t care what about you because I don’t have a myself affects up so you can only lead by example exactly no other way yet people wanna be told what to do yeah while Christine I could we could keep talking yeah but so where can we find you yes so you can find me on Instagram on the Christine and to be so L. A. L. A. B. Y. so Christina B. and you can find me on YouTube under Christine out of B. as well A. L. A. B. Y. and Austin feel free to ask me any questions for me on that and I will respond and yes fantastic %HESITATION yeah I’ll make sure to provide all of the left links on there as well thank you so much Christine magazine amazing I can’t wait to have you back on read thank you so much my pleasure thank you for having me you’re welcome thank you so much for listening if you enjoyed this episode please subscribe and %HESITATION if you if you saw this was useful and you think someone else could benefit %HESITATION please share with your friends until next time talk to you soon